Hi Dorin,
We do something like this (a FIND form that searches the grid, similar with CTRL+F used on a browse), and refresh will scroll the grid and highlight the row, but not move the record pointer. Highlighting in conjunction with a text on the FIND form saying "Found" or "Not found" is good enough, for us...
I believe you need to setfocus on the grid for the record mark to move - thisform.oCallingFormRef.setfocus.