>I normally try to quickly adjust my mirror where the lights are shining back at him... sort of the passive aggressive approach.

My approach too. With electric side mirrors, and an easily set switch on the overhead rearview mirror, this is a simple way to handle it.

I don't usually bother to see if I hit a "bulls-eye" with my back-reflections, as "close" is good enough for most cases, which are probably just accidental glare. But once in a while, you might want to make sure it's a really accurate return-hit - if the tailer is a real pest.