>Well, this may set the record for the most irrelevant post of all time...
>
>Three weeks ago, I did some major yardwork.
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>Two days later, I noticed what appeared to be some mosquito bites on my legs.
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>A day later, my arms, legs, and stomach just seemed to go haywire. Rashes, breakouts, and really funky looking scars. Itched like heck. My wife said, 'you realize that's poison ivy, don't you?' I'm 39 and was exposed to P.I. several times as a kid, and never itched once.
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>Two days later, it got so bad that I went to the doctor. A shot of cortisone, some prednisone.
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>Four days later, it spread worse. My arms, legs, and stomach looked like someone had cut them up with razors. Another shot and 80 mg of prednisone. They say that dosing down on prednisone makes one cry. Of course, being a life-long KC Chiefs fan makes one cry as well.
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>Then someone told me to take Oatmeal baths...being a bit naive, I said, 'huh?' I didn't realize they actually sold packets of the stuff. Last time I took a 'bath', it was with Mr Bubble (no, not Michael Jackson's pet python.). The directions say to pour the contents of one Oatmeal package into the bathtub. Recalling the South Park episode when Cartman filled his bathtub with calamine lotion to soothe the itching from chicken pox, I poured all 8. Ahhhhhh.....temporary relief.
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>So naturally, I did some web research...PoisonIvyHallOfShame.com. Some people actually posted pictures of their arms and legs....yikers! Mine was on par with theirs. That was really depressing. Then I read about some poor soul who inhaled the vapors/fumes/whatever from poison ivy that was being burned, and he wound up having part of a lung removed. I never knew that stuff was so nasty.
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>I had just received my tax refund from last year, most of which I wound up spending on calamine spray and doctor visits. So I'm not as rich as I had hoped, and most of the time my body looks like someone splashed Pepto Bismol on it.
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>I started to clear up, but was still itching like mad, especially at night. They gave me hydroxyzine. At times in my career, I always felt I was treated like a dog. Now I was being medicated as one. But I made a great discovery...Kevin's chemical rule for sleeping...
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>one hydroxyzine pill + 2 spoons of Benadryl + 2 bottles of Chocolate Stoudt = ONE VERY GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP!
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>(As those 2 goobers on the Guinness TV commercial say..."BRILLIANT!")
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>So now I'm finally drying up...though I've developed some minor rashes and dermatitis in spots. My wife bought me something that has Zinc Oxide and Dimethicone in it...yes, Diaper Rash Cream. It really helps. At times in my career, I felt I was treated like a baby...now I was being medicated like one. (Wait, that sounds familiar).
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>So...moral of the story...the next time I have two options for Sunday afternoon...
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>1) Sit on a couch, drink beer, work with .NET, and watch MST3K episodes
>2) Attempt to be a normal husband by doing yardwork...
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>Which do you think I'll choose?
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>Last December was my 7 year wedding anniversary....is this what they mean by the Seven Year Itch?
>
>Kevin

Kevin;

A pint or two of Guinness will help many problems.

Additional suggestions for yard work:

1. Use Agent Orange (Roundup will do in a pinch).
2. Napalm.
3. Pray it will go away.
4. Let it grow.

Now I know why people move into condos and townhouses - let the "Homeowners Association" take care of it!

Tom