I want to share two definitions I have enjoyed:
Number 1: Definition of "magnet" and "magnetism", in the Devil's Dictionary:
MAGNET, n. Something acted upon by magnetism.
MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet.
The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.Number 2: A man asks a friend to explain telegraphy. The friend uses an analogy: "Think of an extremely long dachshund [dog]. If you step on his tail at one end, he will howl at the other end."
The friend replies: "OK, so far, everything is clear. But can you now explain wireless telegraphy to me?"
"That's exactly the same - but without the dachshund."
Difference in opinions hath cost many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether whistling be a vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the fire... (from Gulliver's Travels)
