Hi, Einar,
On #1, the old quote applies...
"form follows function". If you've built many separate/reusable projects, at some point you'll have a long list of references in solution explorer. So assuming your classes and references are well thought out in advance, then that's the "way it is".
I asked the same type of question when I started building my own set of classes. When I became comfortable with the overall design, I became comfortable with what I initially thought were long lists.
On #2, I use bin. The obj area is (my understanding) an intermediate directory from which the files in bin are created. VS.NET compiles the classes into the obj folder, and then links things together into the bin folder. The "obj" folder is intended as a temporary folder, and the "bin" folder is the "official" one.
If you don't already have it, .NET for VFP Developers by Kevin McNeish is a excellent overall reference for .NET, especially if you're coming from a VFP perspective.
Hope that helps...
Kevin