After his death, Osama Bin Laden went to Paradise. He was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry punched Bin Laden in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end America's liberty, but you failed."

James Madison appeared, kicked him in the groin, and said, "This is why I allowed the government to provide for the common defense."

Bin Laden was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson, and 66 other Americans.

As he writhed in pain on the ground, an angel appeared. Bin Laden said, "This is not what I was promised." The angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"