>>>>>>I bought some used paint the other day...
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>That was funny, but Steven Wright is the best in my book!
>>>>>
>>>>>That's nothing, I came home last night and stuck my car keys in the back door. My house started, so I drove it around!
>>>>
>>>>I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer". Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all the cars, "Get out of my driveway!"
>>>
>>>Oh yeah, well I've got a splitting headache - I've been trying to take a closeup picture of the horizon all day!
>>
>>That's nothing - I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
>>
>>We could do this all day. The guy is a master.
>
>
>I put instant oatmeal in my microwave and went backwards in time.
>
>Today I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I'm going to put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
>
>I was walking in the forest and a tree fell right at my feet, but I didn't hear a thing.
>
>I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
>
>What's another word for thesaurus?
>
>I used to work at a factory where they make hydrants. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Sponges grow in the ocean. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time.


ENOUGH!!!!