ROFL!!

That's just too good. I usually go with something a bit simpler...

"Whether your holiday is Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, the Solstice, or Festivus...have a great holiday season"

>>Happy Holidays to all...
>
>Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best
>wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
>low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the Winter
>Solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of
>the religious persuasion of your choice, or the secular practices of
>your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
>traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
>secular traditions at all...and a fiscally successful, personally
>fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of
>the generally accepted calendar year 2004, but not without due respect
>for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to
>society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is
>necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in
>the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color,
>age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform,
>or sexual preference of the wishee.
>
>(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.
>This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
>It is freely transferable with no alteration to the
>original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
>implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, is void where
>prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the
>wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the
>usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until
>the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first,
>and the warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of
>a new wish, at the sole discretion of the wisher. Should tidings
>generally accepted as good not be experienced by the wishee during the
>warranted period, then this wish is null and void. This greeting has
>no cash value.)
>
>:)