I thought I would make a list of all those little things that seem to come with these conditions. Some may be obvious, and some perhaps not so much. I'll leave out the most common things, like "eye won't shut" and "pain behind ear." These are those everyday things that people might not realize make the lives of those with one of the conditions a little tougher, and perhaps even a bit more humorous. Mine anyway.

1. Spitting water out after brushing teeth goes sideways.

2. Having to hold a napkin under my lower lip when drinking out of a glass to keep from drooling on myself.

3. The farting sound my lips can make if food gets on the bad side and I try to suck it back around in my mouth.

4. Water from the shower when hitting my face can easily blow through into my mouth on the affected side.

5. Just because tears are flowing from my eye, it does not mean I'm crying.

6. Raising my eyebrow (no choice) and tilting my head just right, makes me look like The Rock.

7. I have to push the toothbrush into my mouth, then get it into position to brush the bad side.

8. Taping an eye shut sounds simple in theory.

9. The ones that can still look you in the eyes during a conversation are you true friends.

10. I used to whistle great. Now I just blow spittle out the side of my mouth. Baby's still think that's cool though.

11. I can do a pretty good Mr. Spock imitation now.

12. The "I am not an animal" joke doesn't work in every group of people.

13. I now lisp and sound kind of gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

14. If you are mad and swearing, some of the intensity is lost when your "F" sounds like "W" and your "B" sounds like an "F."

15. You can have something hanging from the nostril on the bad side and not know it until you see a mirror. This also is one that can be used as an indicator of who your real friends are.

16. Kids are much more accepting than adults.

17. You will learn to like soup and french fries more than you ever have before. Especially at a restaurant.

18. Do not intentionally trim your mustache unevenly to try and make it look even. That's a really bad idea.

19. Take your eyepatch off when parallel parking.

20. Those sounds that John Merrick made while eating were pretty damn accurate.

21. I am not winking at you.