>Ok, I'll bite. What on earth then do you use on a salami sandwich (or smoked meat, pastrami or corned beef for that matter)? Please don't tell me mayonnaise and then still try to stick to the story that you're Jewish.

For a while I worked in a place where they had a sandwich stand in the building, and since most of the rest of their customers were transient (students coming to look for temp jobs), we had the privilege of sandwiches being brought into the office. That's when we learned the great incompatibility between mayonnaise and beard (two other guys and I). They were keeping it in the fridge overnight, and it would lose some of its consistency and become more liquid. If it doesn't get in the beard, only your sweater can save the carpet.

The thinnest thing that may come on my sandwich is sour cream. Anything more liquid than that is out.