>>I think I will pass. Not because I think it's bad, because it isn't, but because I tend to be overly critical. A couple of people who asked me for comments on their writing wound up irritated with me because they thought the comments were too harsh. They weren't intended that way but sometimes I come across as harsher than I mean to.
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>>One thing I will say CONSTRUCTIVELY is keep an eye on the adjectives. I happen to be sensitive about this because my own writing contains more of them than I would like. Most of the writers I admire go easy with the adjectives and their cousins, the adverbs. "Show, don't tell."
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>I know what you mean about the adverbs ... he said interestedly
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Some writers, even published ones, seem unable to let characters say anything without describing how they looked when they said it. He said excitedly, she said irritably, etc. The dialogue itself should indicate excitement or irritation.

Stephen King wrote a book called "On Writing" which I thought contained some good advice even if you don't happen to be a Stephen King fan. One phrase that sticks in my mind is, "Adverbs are not your friends."