>>>I think I will pass. Not because I think it's bad, because it isn't, but because I tend to be overly critical. A couple of people who asked me for comments on their writing wound up irritated with me because they thought the comments were too harsh. They weren't intended that way but sometimes I come across as harsher than I mean to.
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>>>One thing I will say CONSTRUCTIVELY is keep an eye on the adjectives. I happen to be sensitive about this because my own writing contains more of them than I would like. Most of the writers I admire go easy with the adjectives and their cousins, the adverbs. "Show, don't tell."
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>>I know what you mean about the adverbs ... he said interestedly
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>Some writers, even published ones, seem unable to let characters say anything without describing how they looked when they said it. He said excitedly, she said irritably, etc. The dialogue itself should indicate excitement or irritation.

What's even more annoying, esp. if you're reading the passage to kids in bed, is such as: '"Quick, get under the bed and hide, before the villain sees us!", said Peter urgently'. Well it's too bloody late to tell the narator HOW the subject expressed the words AT THE END OF THE SENTENCE, after he's already delivered the dialogue in the manner he assumed it WAS to be expressed in. Does that make sense? e.g. I've often read some dialogue to my kids, only to find at the end of the sentence that the speaker was supposed to have, say, whispered it vehemently! :-)

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>Stephen King wrote a book called "On Writing" which I thought contained some good advice even if you don't happen to be a Stephen King fan. One phrase that sticks in my mind is, "Adverbs are not your friends."