Thank you for the words of support. I wish to blank out the black thoughts, cut out the pain from my heart. But everytime when I think I finally overcame the problem it hits me again and there is no escape.

Naomi...

Once again, I have zero clue what you are talking about. Maybe others are in the "know", which is fine. But here's my advice on the "blank out the black thoughts". If you do that, then the "white thoughts" won't mean as much to you.

Two years ago at Christmas, I went through a very ugly period that lasted for two months. It was the worst experience I'd ever had, and I wound up harboring incredible hate and anger towards the person who caused it. Fortunately, it got resolved. And the months and times afterwards were great for me, possibly because I appreciated them even more.

Again, I don't know what you're talking about. As much as you can, you just have to try to do the things that make you happy.

Kevin