My sister used to be an Apple Computer evangelist because it was so "user friendly" and I never let her forget the setup instructions:
"Plug monitor into computer. Note: if monitor is already plugged into computer you may skip this step."
Steve Jobs knows his audience <g>
>>On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
>>(talk about a news flash)
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>Well I've found a cheese here where there's a warning "contains milk".
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>>On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
>>(as opposed to what?)
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>As opposed to use where there are no doors, so you can't decide which side of the door you are. Simple, isn't it?
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>>On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
>>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
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>I read in the instructions for the one we have: "first remove soil and peel from the vegetables".
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>>On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
>>(Step 3: say what?)
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>I once had a tire manometer where instructions had 14 steps. Step 1: unscrew the cap from the tire valve. ... step 14: screw the cap on the tire valve.
Charles Hankey
Though a good deal is too strange to be believed, nothing is too strange to have happened.
- Thomas Hardy
Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm-- but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.
-- T. S. Eliot
Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for lunch.
Liberty is a well-armed sheep contesting the vote.
- Ben Franklin
Pardon him, Theodotus. He is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.