Grady,
Alrigth apolizes. But do me a favor, when you post a thing like that again, which indeed made me laugh when I read it the 1st time, do at least give a hint you found/copied or stole it from someone. Just publishing without any remarks could, which happend to me at least, easily lead to wrong conclusions.
Anyhow I found the text was not original, when googling the Internet I found an exact fine Dutch translation, made several years ago.
SO forget about the hint I gave you to start a weblog.
Regards,
Koen