>I really do have to hand it to you. I have to admit I'm a liberal, but I did laugh. It's funny and creative. It may just be the finest troll in the history of the net. ;)

8P


>
>>Conservatives vs Liberals History
>>
>> *For those that don't know about history...... here is a condensed
>> version.
>>
>> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
>> hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
>> and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
>>
>> The two most important events in all of history were:
>> 1. The invention of beer and Scotch, and
>> 2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
>> beer and Scotch
>>
>> These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the
>> catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
>> 1. Liberals
>> 2. Conservatives
>>
>> Once beer and Scotch were discovered, it required grain and that was the
>> beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
>> invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for
>> them to be invented, they just stayed close to the breweries. That's how
>> villages were formed.
>>
>> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to barbeque at
>> night while they were drinking beer and Scotch. This was the beginning
>> of what is known as the Conservative movement.
>>
>> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
>> off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbeques and doing
>> the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the
>> Liberal movement.
>>
>> Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
>> known as girlie-men.
>>
>> Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
>> the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of
>> democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat, beer and Scotch that
>> conservatives provided without having to work themselves.
>>
>> Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
>> powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
>> the jackass.
>> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added) and blended Scotch
>> (conservatives like single malt), but most prefer white wine or imported
>> bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi,
>> tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. ** *
>>
>> *
>> Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
>> higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
>> injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
>> therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
>> because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>>
>> Conservatives drink domestic beer and single malt. They eat red meat and
>> still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
>> cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
>> police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally
>> anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire
>> other conservatives who want to work for a living and to pay the taxes
>> to support the Liberals who do not work.
>>
>> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
>> and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
>> are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
>> remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They
>> crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying
>> to get more for nothing. Most remained in the Northeast or hid in
>> California .
>>
>> Here ends today's lesson in world history....... *
>>
>>
>>
>> *It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
>> respond to the above before forwarding it.
>>
>> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
>> truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
>> true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.. *