>If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it
> considered rape or just shoplifting?

Wrong question. There's no commodity, there's a service. Forced service is a forced service. It's still a rape.

>How important does a person have to be before they are
>considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

How many people need to die together before it's called a tragedy? The same or larger number of people dies in separate incidents, and it doesn't make the news. Or... the way one guy sold newspapers: "132 people dead - read all about it on pages 53 to 59" (i.e. in the obituaries).

>Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a
>'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

What penny?

>Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Because the triangular pizza was busy.

>What disease did cured ham actually have?

All food is healthy - have you ever seen it visit a doctor?

On second thought... don't share a meal with a doctor.

>How is it that we put man on the moon before we
>figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Could it be we were unable to produce the plastic buggers cheap and good enough before we had the lunar program?

>Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when
>babies wake up like every two hours?

People idealize these two hours... and when you do get them to sleep, you convince yourself that they're having a good time, sleeping like babies. Makes it worth the trouble.

>Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast
>to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Pardon us indecent people, but when you have teeth which cost less than $10K, you actually can risk using them for chewing and crunching things and generally enjoy your food. The food, in turn, doesn't always have to be soft and moist.

>If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
>a coconut why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
>all fours? They're both dogs!

>If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME
>crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

For all three: there may be worse fates than being stuck forever in a stupid story with all sorts of moronic conventions, but none come to mind. At least Wiley could have tried, for once, to stash some of the explosives and throw them all through a hole in the fourth wall... that would have been interesting. Duffy and Bugs at least had a few (fake) fights with their creators.


>Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little
>Star have the same tune?

>Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

I did not. I'm lucky to not know the melody - I know enough rubbish that we created for our kids, I don't need more of it from other languages.


>Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
>the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when
>it's in your butt?

Unrelated. Asteroid is a means to get off steroids.

>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he
>gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride,
>he sticks his head out the window?

In both cases, the smart dog is trying to avoid his master's breath.