Funny Stuff

>Dear Staff,
>
>Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy
>in US since last Christmas, Management has decided to implement a scheme
>to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement. This scheme will
>be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be
>RAPEd can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme
>(Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPEd and
>SHAFTed will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired
>Early Workers). A person may be RAPEd once, SHAFTed twice and SCREWed as
>many times as Management deems appropriate.
>
>Persons who have been RAPEd can only get AIDS (Additional Income for
>Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
>Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be
>SHAFTed or SCREWed any further by management. Persons staying on will
>receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
>Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives
>employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please
>bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to
>give you all the SHIT you can handle..
>
>Sincerely,
>
>The Management