>>With all due respect, and without rancor, I don't think it's the same thing at all. I have tried willpower. A million times.
>>
>>I am not talking about will power. I am talking about making a conscious decision about the kind of life that you want to live. You have the power to make this decision before you get plastered. You know the drill - one day at a time. Well, sometimes it has to be one minute at a time and if you can get through that next minute without going out to buy a bottle, you are in control of where your life is headed.
>>
>>I AM NOT GIVING UP. But I know better now than to believe in "just try harder."
>>
>>Actually, you can try harder - or at least make better decisions. Whenever you are tempted to buy a bottle and start drinking, go to a meeting instead.
>
>I'm trying, Marcia.
>
>There is maybe something perverse in me that makes it harder. Sometimes I am upbeat and sometimes my soul is absolutely black. Don't worry, I'm not going to try to off myself again, but contentment eludes me.

How many times have you called a sponsor or gone to a meeting when the desire to drink was overwhelming instead of afterward?