>>I was an ugly kid. When I was born the doctor slapped my mother.
>>
>>I got in a cab and said take me for a good time. He drove me home.
>>
>>(both courtesy of the late great Rodney Dangerfield)
>
>You so ugly - when you were born the dr picked you up by the wrists and slapped you in the mouth!

Flip Wilson did a hysterical routine about a man abusing a woman on a train about how ugly her baby was. She called the conductor who properly chastized the lout. He then offered to get her a drink and "how about a banana for your monkey?"