That's easy for you to say. I have daughters who need me and bills to pay. WHICH IS ALL THE MORE REASON to clean yourself up.
You say in one post to me that your daughters are almost adult....and then you say here that you have daughters who need you and bills to pay. All the more reason to address your problem. And you coming up here and praising Tamar does nothing - she may be your friend....but at the moment, you need TREATMENT.
If we were close enough friends, and I lived relatively close to you, I'd be hauling your ass into a rehab clinic - for your own good.