You'll find it was a blessing in disguise, I suspect. There's so much great stuff going on out there now.

>Thanks, Marcia. I needed that today. Been a rough couple of days (I got layed off yesterday)
>
>>Disorder in the American Courts - A good laugh for today
>>
>> IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER
>>
>>These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
>>things
>>people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
>>published
>>by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these
>>exchanges were actually taking place.
>>
>>ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
>>morning?
>>WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
>>ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>>WITNESS: My name is Susan!
>>____________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>>WITNESS: Yes.
>>ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>>WITNESS: I forget..
>>ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
>>forgot?
>>___________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his
>>sleep ,
>>he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>>WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>>____________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
>>WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ.
>>___________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>>WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
>>_________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>>WITNESS: Yes.
>>ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>>WITNESS: Geez. I was having sex you dumb ass!
>>____________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
>>WITNESS: Yes.
>>ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>>WITNESS: None.
>>ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>>WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a
>>new
>>attorney?
>>____________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>>WITNESS: By death..
>>ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>>WITNESS: Take a guess.
>>____________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>>WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
>>ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>>WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
>>_____________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
>>notice which I sent to your attorney?
>>WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>>______________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
>>people?
>>WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
>>_________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go
>>to?
>>WITNESS: Oral..
>>_________________________________________
>>
>>ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>>WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
>>ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>>WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
>>____________________________________________
>>
>>And last:
>>
>>ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
>>pulse?
>>WITNESS: No.
>>ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>>WITNESS: No.
>>ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>>WITNESS: No..
>>ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
>>began
>>the autopsy?
>>WITNESS: No.
>>ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>>WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>>ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
>>nevertheless?
>>WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>>practicing
>>law.