>Unfortunately, that either shows me how to do it via the menus or takes me to the below thrice-danged MSDN thing.
>
>
>>>Hi
>>>
>>>Could someone point me to a resource for the Word Document Object that will actually give me things like, oh...I don't know, parameters, return values (and what they mean)?
>>>
>>>My Google-fu has been so inadequate on this I'm about ready to choke something since all I can see to find is a thrice-danged thing on MSDN that will tell me what the members of the object is, but none of what I'm really looking for.
>>>
>>>Thanks
>>
>>
>>Write Macro.
>>Open VBA editor and press F1.

Nope.
If you press F1 in VBA editor you will get VBA help.

Or maybe you didn't installed it?