>-------------------------
>Three Little Pigs
>-------------------------
>
>One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little
>Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig
>was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,
>"...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheel barrow full of straw
>and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my
>house?" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think
>that man said?"
>
>One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said..
>'Holy Sh*t! A talking pig!'"
>
>The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

An (abbreviated) version of that one:

Two race horses having a quiet drink in the pub.
One says "You know, a funny thing happened to me in the 3:30 at New Market. I was lying fourth when I felt this sharp stab in my b*m, leapt forward and, before I knew it, I'd come second"
Second one says "Blimey, that''s really odd. I've never won a race in my life but in the 2:30 at Chepstow last week I was three fences from home, lying last, and I got the same stabbing sensation in by butt. Leapt forwards and actually won!"

At this point a greyhound at the next table intervened "Excuse me gents but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I was at Walthamstow last night in the 8:30 and...."

"F**k me" said the first horse, "A talking greyhound"