>>http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/31/magazine/get-yer-yeah-yeah-yeahs-out.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
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>>I have always shared everything here. It is no secret that I have a problem with alcohol. Lately it has been bad. Really bad. If you pray, please say a prayer for me. Even if you don't normally say prayers, please say a prayer.
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>I don't know much about alcoholism but I do about depression. Here's what I would do to pick myself up if I was in a horrible rut:
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>- Find a new TV series to watch on Netflix. Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Battlestar Galactica, Sons of Anarchy, and Firefly all come to mind. Having something to look forward to is a big help, and when I get hooked on a show I really look forward to watching the next episode.
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>- Exercise. I don't know what your financial situation is, but I dropped a few hundred bucks on Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping earlier this year. It was a big adrenaline boost and I felt better overall after the 10 week boot camp. It was a good mix of boxing and strength training and was beginner-friendly. I made a few friends too but it wasn't really a social thing for me. Maybe find something you haven't done before, like biking or kayaking/fishing or something like that.
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>- Find a project. Build a blog in ASP.NET using newer technologies and ideas. Learning something new is a big pick-me-up. I would be careful about this though because it makes it easy for you to isolate yourself.
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>- Explore a new social group. There's lots of technology user groups around. Entrepreneurial meetups are starting to catch on. Go to a Ruby on Rails meeting to see how the other half lives. Maybe Agile groups? Barcamps have caught on here and they're pretty fun and actually have nothing to do with a bar. I know church isn't your think but the fellowship is amazing... maybe find a church-related group? In our area we have a church-affiliated outdoor group where men get together and hunt/fish/canoe/boat/etc. The people are generally very open and accepting and there's not many churchy things besides praying at meals.
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>Don't know if this helps... hopefully it sparks an idea. It seems when you get in this state you post a lot about music. I know when I get depressed I sit in a dark room for hours and listen to music, reminisce, and spend hours on the web and that can't be healthy.

I didn't know that you have struggled with depression. I would not have guessed that. Clearly you have found ways to deal with it.

Thank you for suggestions. I know they are all good ones. I just seem unable to take good advice. It's just that I don't know how to get out of it. I feel powerless. Alcoholism and depression that's a rough combination.

One of the best members of this forum sent me an email after I attempted suicide for the second time, saying I am happy you are still alive but am furious with you for almost doing that to your daughters. It turned out her father was an alcoholic suicide. I vowed that it would never happen. And it hasn't.