>>Drinking with a group of Irish and Scots is fun. The Irish enjoy themselves and the Scots want to fight. It is amazing how many teeth a Scott has missing due to fighting. All they want to do is to fight. Strange lot. I once told a Scott they were in fact an Irish tribe and he wanted to fight me then and there. Another Scott stopped his friend by telling him, “The man’s right”! This fellow was a foot shorter then me and about one hundred pounds lighter. If you want to start a fight with a Scotty, just say, “Donald, where are your trousers”? :)
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>Few realize how important the Scots were in the early days of electricity. In fact, two Scotsmen invented copper wire. They were arguing over a penny!

There's a legend around here that Scots originate from the city of Pirot in south Serbia, from which they were expelled for spending too much.

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What does a Piroćanac do when he buys a new fridge? He drills a hole to see whether the light is really off when he closes the door.
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-I hear your cousin died abroad.
-Yes, bad thing. He got electrocuted on the job. He would have done better being driven over by a steam roller - then they'd be able to just fax him home, instead of us paying for all that transportation.

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- What's the black you're wearing?
- Dad died three days ago.
- But I saw him yesterday!
- We just leaned him to the gate when postman was coming, so he could take his retirement check.