>.... (hard to figure which is the right pronoun for this particular statement) ...

The one fitting to the first name. What else? Anything else is akward. I can adjust to somebody doing this (rename or go to the surgery, and I hardly adopt of Nadya > Naomi), but the name and the pronoun belong to each other. The same way I have to tolerate somebody doing this everybody else has to accept that I will not change my language for such minority problems.

Ask Martina about to be a neuter (She was for a time named Jindru, for what I recall, what realy puzzled me), I guess this is even worse. Might be a better source.