These have to be changed for Miami. Once you cross over from Broward, to Miami-Dade County, the rules are changed as follows:

1) You can order food any way you want, as long as it's fried, fried, or fried. Remember that the word "maslas" translates to "chunks".

2) Also don't laugh at the names Efegenio, Humberto, Yolanda, or Rigoberto...

3) Learn the hurricane evacuation route when you arrive at the hotel.

4) Don't say you like the University of Florida or FSU or any Big East team because they'll send convicted Hurricane football players over to beat you up.

5) The number one thing to avoid saying in Miami is anything related to Fidel Castro. And if you do have to, spit after you say his name.

6) Do not walk fast down the sidewalk. In that part of Miami Beach the average age is 100 so you might hurt someone.