Thanks a lot, Jonathan. Now I laugh :)

>>>>Subject: Puns for Top Thinkers Only
>>>>
>>>>1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The
>>>>stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one
>>>>carrion allowed per passenger."
>>
>> I checked two words (marked bold) (I didn't know them) in the dictionary, but I didn't get this joke. It should be homonim (?) of some other word, but I don't know, which one.
>
>It's a play on "carry-on" luggage.
>
>>
>>>>
>>>>2. Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low
>>>>earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.
>>
>>Checked this one, but it didin't become clear either.
>
>This is a play on "the shot heard 'round the world". Here, it's a herd (of cows) shot 'round the world.
>
>>
>>>>
>>>>3. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
>>>>became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
>>>>never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
>>>>lesser of two weevils.
>>
>>boll - didn't find in the dictionary
>>weevil - didn't find
>>
>
>A boll weevil is a type of bug that infests cotton plants. A play on "the lesser of two evils".
>
>>
>>>>
>>>>4. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire
>>>>in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak
>>>>and heat it, too.
>>
>> Know all words, but the sense alludes me.
>
>It's a play on "you can't have your cake and eat it, too".
>
>>
>>>>5. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up
>>>>to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
>>
>> Don't get it.
>
>"paw" is a play on "pa", which is a slang term for father. Some old western movies had people looking for the person that shot their Pa.
>
>>
>>>>
>>>>6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
>>>>canal?
>>>>He wanted to transcend dental medication.
>>
>> ?? Have an idea (medication - meditation, but not sure)
>
>Combine transcend and dental into transcendental, and switch medication to meditation like you thought.
>
>>
>>>>
>>>>7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
>>>>in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
>>>>an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
>>>>"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
>>>>
>>>>"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open
>>>>foyer."
>>>>
>> Didn't get.
>
>There's a Christmas song with the line "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire".
>
>>
>>>>8. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
>>>>to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in
>>>>Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
>>>>himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
>>>>husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband
>>>>responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
>>
>> ??
>
>"If you've seen one, you've seen them all"
>
>>
>>>>
>>>>9. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up
>>>>a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
>>>>from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
>>>>was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
>>>>He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
>>>>rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug
>>>>in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
>>>>their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
>>>>Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can
>>>>prevent florist friars.
>>>>
>> ?? Hugh - hug, but still is not clear
>
>Ever heard of Smokey the Bear? He's a character used to help educate people against forest fires. His line is "You, and only you, can prevent forest fires".
>
>>
>>>>10. And finally, there was a man who sent ten different puns to friends,
>>>>in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
>>>>Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
>>
>>No pun in ten did.