ROFL!

>Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade
>next when his telephone rang.
>
>"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is
>Patrick down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing
>to inform you that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
>
>"Well, Patrick," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news!
>How big is your army?"
>
>"Right now," said Patrick, after a moment's calculation, "there is
>meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the
>entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
>
>Saddam paused. "I must tell you Patrick, that I have one million
>men in my army waiting to move on my command."
>
>"Begorra!", said Patrick. "I'll have to ring ya back!"
>
>Sure enough, the next day, Patrick called again. "Mr. Hussein, the
>war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry
>equipment!"
>
>"And what equipment would that be, Patrick?" Saddam asked.
>
>"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm
>tractor."
>
>Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Patrick, that I have 16,000 tanks
>and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army
>to 1.5 million since we last spoke."
>
>"Saints preserve us!" said Patrick. "I'll have to get back to ya."
>
>Sure enough, Patrick rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the
>war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've
>modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the
>cockpit, and four lads from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as
>well!"
>
>Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
>tell you, Patrick, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter
>planes.
>
>My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
>missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to
>TWO MILLION!"
>
>"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Patrick, "I'll have to ring ya
>back."
>
>Sure enough, Patrick called again the next day. "Top o' the
>mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to
>call off the war."
>
>"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
>heart?"
>
>"Well," said Patrick, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch o'
>pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million
>prisoners."