>Just for kicks, I put my multimeter on pins 1 & 2. and Opened my port via the mscomm control. Guess what? The continuance beep fired off. Each time the port opens that circuit is completed. Unfortunately, there is about 10 volts between those two wires all the time, completed circuit or not. I just need the switch, not the voltage.
>
>I've been looking for some off-the shelf item, havent found one yet.

Yep, you are probably just biasing the meter. If you want off the shelf, try http://www.eeci.com/eeci2.htm . At 44.95 for the two relay module, probably not worth the trip to RS :-) Appears to be optoisolated also.