>-------------------------
>My New Diet
>-------------------------
>
>Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
>for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog.
>I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>What did she think I had - an elephant?
>
>So because I'm retired and have little
>to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the
>Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
>because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
>before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
>orifices and IVs in both arms.
>
>I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it
>works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or
>two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and
>I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
>here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>
>Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food
>poisoned me.
>
>I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a
>car hit me.

LOL

How about '100 Dalmatians Diet' next time.
You are buying tons of dog food because you have to feed lot of dogs.
Whereas your diet is;
Raw, finely chopped dog's liver - 3 times a day - for a month... {g}

You would probably end up in prison if you told this story to a wrong person there, whereas cat version of the same story could
have get you killed on the spot! {g}